Can I blame the moon for this?

I work at a rather busy little used bookstore here in town. Normally, my store is busy, but not crazy, on Sundays. Also, the vast majority of my customers are awesome, especially the 8-12 year old kids who come in with their allowances to buy books for themselves.

This Sunday was, however, just freaking weird. On Sunday afternoon, the following things occurred at the store where I work.

First, a woman disrobed completely in the stationery alcove.

My coworker, we’ll call him Fred, who was working at the register, was trying very carefully to be polite about the fact that there was a naked woman standing over by the thank-you notes. Fred managed, without making any fuss, to notify another coworker, who went and got the shift manager. Our lovely shift manager asked the woman, politely, if she might put her clothes back on. She replied “Oh of course, no problem.” Got dressed again and left.

Then, as I was working at the buy counter, a woman and her children came in to sell books. The books were primarily well-worn romance paperbacks, but at the bottom of the bag, we found a large number of erotica books. Not that unusual, really. Except these were both extremely dog-eared and covered in an odd, clear sticky something.

Ew.

And finally, a gentleman came in and was a complete pill to my coworker running the buy counter because she would not pay for his Playboy magazines, offering only to donate or recycle them.* He then hounded two other coworkers, caused major issues at the register, got in another coworker’s face and had to be escorted out by a manager.

I’m not sure what’s in the air, but I’m glad I had Monday off…

*My store has very limited space for anything with adult content, and playboy magazines don’t sell well, so typically we’ll only actually pay for the collectible ones we think we might have a shot at reselling (as opposed to putting on the shelf for a year with the big ADULT CONTENT sign and then recycling them).We also only have space in the standard magazine rack for current magazines.

Bookstore Bingo

*crossposted from Seven Deadly Divas*

The phone rings. I answer it (within the first two rings, of course).

“Hello, this is <Bookstore Name> in <Location>, Anna speaking, how may I help you?”

*****

“Hi, do you sell books?”
No, the whole “Bookstore” part of our name is a joke, we really sell sticky widgets.

*****

“Hi, do you have a book?”
Nope, we’re fresh out.

*****

“Hi, I’m looking for frerkhtngrmwth.”
“Could you repeat that? I didn’t hear you clearly.”
“I’m looking for frerkhtngrmwth, by Thrrlblwrt K Hamthripth. You know, her new book.”
“Um… let me put you on hold just a moment and I’ll check.”
<checks new releases section for books with titles that sound like frerkhtngrmwth.>
“I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t seem to have any copies of frerkhtngrmwth right now.”
“Oh alright. I’ll try online.”

*****

“Hi, I was wondering if you had <Obscure Book Title>”
“Give me just a moment and I’ll check the shelf.”
<checks shelf>
“I’m sorry, sir, we don’t have a copy of Obscure Book Title right now.”
“Why not?”
“Well, we’re a used bookstore, so our inventory is really unpredictable.”
“But I checked your online inventory and it says you have it.”
“…. We actually don’t have an in-store or online inventory. Are you sure?”
“Well, I looked it up on Amazon Dot Com, and it says you have the book!”

*****

“Hi, I’m looking fer books on Yew-Bun-Tew Lye-Nucks. It’s a computerin’ book.”
“Just a moment and I’ll check the shelf for you. … I’m sorry, right now all we have are Red Hat books and some generic Linux books.”
“Naw, I don’t need them Red Hat things. I need a Yew-Bun-Tew book. Thankya though.”
<I actually had an extended conversation with this gentleman, and he knew exactly what he was talking about. But I had to try REALLY hard not to giggle.>

*****

“Hi, I need a copy of Sandy Backerack for my kid.”
“uhh… do you know what kind of book it is?”
“He says it’s a play.”
“Well, I can’t find a record of any book with that title, are you sure that’s it?”
“Yeah, that’s what he said.”
“You’re sure it’s not Pygmalion? That book is on a lot of reading lists right now.”
“Yes I’m sure. It’s called Sandy Backerack and it’s about a guy with a really big nose.”
“You mean Cyrano de Bergerac?”
“Yeah, that one.”

*****

… to be continued …