So, for a long time, I have collected snippets of the shenanigans that happen at Nerds on Bikes/Team Rowboat games. I often post them on twitter, but I thought I would start cataloging them here, since that’s a more permanent record (and a lot easier to share). Which isn’t to say I’m abandoning twitter, just that they’ll get posted here too.

When last we left off… Actually we didn’t leave off. This was our first campaign session in round 2 of the world of Ath’edar, where the Elves of the Night are at war with… well, everyone… and right now they’re kicking everyone’s butt.

Our intrepid crew of adventurers includes Sydney Harbinger, Enchantress/Wizard; Evan Sanpierre, Rogue; Daniial Ruathym, Bard; Elara Allurin, Sorceress and (we hope) the Good Twin; Raer and his friend Gojira, Summoner and Eidolon; and Caranna Tyndall, Cleric.

Below are the outtakes from our first session, whereby we are all thrown in together at the behest of a crazy elf lady named Ruella (Cruella DeVille), who then gets herself and her magic crystal spheres captured by the Evil Elves and now we have to go rescue her.

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Wizard: Do you still look the same?
Sorceress: Smokin’ hot? HELL YEAH.
(I feel it important to note that Sorceress has a male player.)

DM: There were a lot of index cards, Bard, did you leave them in a book?
Sorceress/Wizard/Rogue: Yes.
Bard: Oh yeah, here they are…

Summoner: Bard has a 24 Charisma
Rogue: Do his boobs glow too?
Rogue: At a 24 CHA, does he even need a shirt?

NPC: I can promise you a real meal, finer than you can get here.
Summoner: I seek knowledge, not food.
Bard: Screw that, I seek food.

Rogue: And I’m the guy in the corner with his hand on his sword.
Rogue: And no, that’s not a euphemism.

Summoner: Hey cool, I can summon a celestial orca!

Summoner: So they’re all dead?
DM: No, but one of them is bleeding.
Wizard: To be fair, two of them are bleeding, but only one of them is bleeding /on the floor/.