Seasons and Scarves

Back in February of 2018 I did something that I’d toyed with for a very long time – I started covering my hair. (Note: I typically cover tichel-style, not hijab-style.) I can’t really explain why I did that, or what I was hoping to achieve. Some of it was playing with beauty expectations. Some of it was an acknowledgement of the ritual and spiritual work I was doing. Some of it was because I’d followed Wrapunzel for years and been interested in scarves and covering and just finally got up the guts to try it out.

Altogether, though, it’s been an interesting process and one that I’ve gotten a great deal of satisfaction out of. I’ve flown with my head covered (no shaper), driven across the country, gone to Jury Duty – it’s just been my life.

And then, suddenly, sometime around last fall, I stopped. Part of that was because I was doing yoga, and it’s hard to do yoga with more than a very basic scarf on. Also I was feeling a lot of pressure to “blend in” at my yoga studio (which… is problematic but that’s a story for another day), and that meant looking as much like everyone else as possible – which didn’t include scarves except as loose flowy wraps that accentuated how boho my style was (eyeroll). Anyway, from yoga and then to a couple of trips where I wasn’t feeling up to covering and then I was only wearing scarves when I was getting “dressed up” to go places.

That lasted close to a year, with my scarf wearing dropping to maybe 30% of the time at some points.

And then… all of a sudden, a few weeks ago, I got dressed and put a scarf on again. It felt right to do so – probably again as a symbol of my increasing spiritual and sovereignty work. I’ve always covered sporadically at home, but now I’m back to scarfing-up most days, even getting out some of my bigger shapers for that poofy look that I love so much.

I even ordered a few solid, DYT Type 4 colored scarves, one of which I’m wearing today. Bold hues look great on me, and I’ve settled into a few styles (crown wrap, shira tails, fan wrap) that I think are most flattering.

Will it last forever? Who knows! But right now covering feels better than not covering, and it definitely lets me get away with bad COVID hair, so there’s that too.

Style Grumbles and Thoughts

So I mentioned in an earlier post that I was doing this Dressing Your Truth thing, and that I was a Type 4 – Bold Striking Woman in that system.

Which – okay. I definitely have a lot of Type 4 tendencies, and there’s lots of expressions of type 4 energy that seem very familiar.

Thing is, I’m getting to where I struggle with how I look again, this time just with better clothes and makeup. Type 4’s are “stunning” and “striking” and “classic” and “refined” and those types of keywords. And I’m a dumpy looking fat woman 95% of the time. I’m learning to wear makeup differently, which has been … sometimes a little scary (but every experiment will have failures), and that does help. And I’m learning to appreciate contrast in my face with bold lip colors to match the bold hues in my clothes.

But I don’t feel “stunning” most of the time. I just feel… like me, just maybe with better clothes.

Car buying selfie. This lip is fantastic.
Pearls are the wrong color, but everything else is good. Well, maybe not the eyeshadow.
Substantial necklace. Hot pink lip gloss. Fuzzy, unkempt hair.
Ready for Yule. This lip is hot pink, but looks neutral on me.
Okay, here I look stunning. The neon orange and black, and the orange lip? Yeah.

So I guess when you come down to it, I can see it sometimes, but most days I’m the “nothing” side of “all or nothing”. I work from home, so it’s not really a thing for me to get dressed to makeup every day – I live alone, and it doesn’t make enough of a difference for it to feel worth it when the only people who will see it are the cats and my reflection in the mirror.

Thankfully, “classic” and “simple” and “reflective” are all Type 4 style words. The words I’m mostly trying on for myself are “competent” and “simple” and “refined” and maybe “deliberate”. As I look through my old Pinterest board (which is not DYT compatible at ALL), I see that I like comfortable outfits that go easily to many levels of dress, but which are not too fussy and yet still pulled together – they look like outfits, not like just a shirt and jeans.

And I think that’s what I need to perfect. I’ve often just worn a dress and a coordinating head scarf and called it good. I often wear the same jewelry for years on end. But that doesn’t lend itself to “outfits” that feel like I’m put together in any meaningful way.

What I like about all of the pictures I featured in this post is that they feel like they’re pulled together – even if it’s just by a neon orange scarf. So I think that’s what I’m going to shoot for more of the time. Not every day (some days I barely manage to get out of my pyjamas), but I’d like to start feeling like I have on clothes that look competent and pulled together.

Maybe that’s my expression of Type 4, rather than “striking” or “stunning”.

Thoughts on “Style” and Dressing Your Truth

So I watch a youtuber named Diane in Denmark – she used to be a FlyLady Premium mentor, and started making videos that I really enjoyed listening to and that were really motivating to get my house put together. And she had a really strong sense of personal style.

She talked about a system called Dressing Your Truth, which is (yet another) thing that you can look to for determining the way you’ll look your best. It’s more than just colors though, it’s design, fabrication, texture, pattern, etc. Anywho, it’s made by a lady named Carol Tuttle, and she looks like your typical new agey white lady, except that something about the energy typing system stuck in my brain. A lot of her stuff strikes me as pretty kooky, but for some reason the style stuff I kept going back to.

This was … well over a year ago at this point, and I recently went back to it, since I’ve stubbornly not lost any of the weight I gained in 2017, so I have been getting some new clothes. There’s a free course here – – and I watched it a few times. Dabbled around with it for awhile, and then decided to just try it for real and see what I think.

After joining Lifestyle over the summer, with an annual membership (like a good little pagan, I gave myself a year to decide if I like it or not), I was wearing Type 2 stuff (soft, subtle, lots of grey and mauve) and Carol saw my posts and suggested I contact her team to be officially typed as part of a Facebook quiz thing. I was selected, and ended up getting typed by Carol herself, as well as well over 200 other women who agreed with her, and I’m now living in the world of the Type 4 – Bold, Striking Woman.

(Oddly what had kept me from selecting Type 4 for myself was that I didn’t think I was stunning, striking, or symmetrical enough – basically I over analyzed, decided I wasn’t perfect enough, and went for the next closest thing. Also oddly, this is apparently incredibly common for Type 4 personalities.)

This has been an adventure. I don’t know how much I buy into the whole thing, but a lot of it is VERY true for me, but I also know that personality tests are like opinions these days. As a system for style, the Bold, Striking Woman wears pure hues – white, black, and other pure colors – in structured, clean, refined styles. And to be honest, that’s a lot of what I had in my closet (what wasn’t already Type 4 was Type 3 – rich and dynamic – hues with black mixed in for a lot of depth).

And so I’m now trying out “dressing my truth” – and I honestly really like it. It makes shopping easier, I’ve discovered I look STUNNING in a true red or true raspberry lipstick, and I feel at ease in the clothes that I’ve been picking up (mostly from ThredUP – thrift stores FTW).

It feels a little silly to have decided to do this – I’m 35, like I can’t figure out how to dress my own god damn self? But it’s fun, and it does make shopping easy, and so far everything I’ve picked up that is true to type has looked amazing on me.

(Go figure, the Italianate woman looks good in black and red.)

We’ll see if I’m still into it in a year.