Lots of self-help and counseling programs talk about the value of self acceptance. To be honest, it’s a concept I’m only just beginning to understand.
It’s hard to “love yourself” when you don’t feel very lovable. I was talking about it with my mom though, and she said something that made me kind of re-think the whole self-love thing. That maybe it wasn’t about finding yourself lovable with all the crap that’s going on, but finding yourself worthy of being loved for your human-ness. It’s not about accepting all the shit in your life, but accepting that you’re a human being, and that you’ll deal with it as best you can, and you are worth accepting yourself for that.
I really struggle with this whole idea, even down to having a mental battle when I do things to “take care of myself” (like going to the gym). I’m hoping that reframing it a bit will help with the immense motivation it takes to do the self-care things I need to do to stay healthy. Maybe instead of seeing self-acceptance as “I have to think I’m awesome” (which I can’t do most of the time), I can see it as “I can accept my humanity” will help change some of the ingrained thoughts and beliefs that are so very very very hard to shake.
That’s a great point. self-love must have roots in self-acceptance.
And that’s something I need to work on as well. I have a nasty habit of not doing self-care things (like working out) because it feels so self-indulgent to spend time on me.
(and yes, it sounds just about that ridiculous in my head, but it’s still a hurdle)
Firefly gets it.
Mal: Well, we’re still flying.
Simon: That’s not much.
Mal: It’s enough.
There’s a saying — if you can’t respect the person, respect the job. I think it would work equally well for self-respect and love. If accepting yourself at this point is difficult, perhaps accepting the job you’re doing will be easier.
Although now that I think about it, this may be *exactly* what you’re saying above. 🙂
Hang in there!